I’ve been alive longer than I assumed I ever can be. I’ve been sick for over half my life now and I simply can’t take it anymore. As I’ve gotten older I see the way it impacts these round me and now I’m continually seen as only a psychological case. All anybody sees is the melancholy as a result of it’s gotten so dangerous that I can’t even fake to cover it anymore. My physique, thoughts and trauma shut individuals off in order that i’m not a burden to them.

I simply want I had solutions as to why I’ve to be like this. Why do I’ve to take care of the issues I take care of? Why is my thoughts so darkish and fights me so exhausting to only even keep alive? Why do I keep alive for many who declare to like me, however when issues get exhausting they run away?

I actually simply don’t wish to do that anymore. I’ve misplaced all hope, all pleasure, all every thing good in life.

Being bipolar is so exhausting. I keep in mind the start of this week I used to be truly okay after which BOOM anxiousness overwhelmed me and I simply broke down. Like what…..? I used to be simply nice. Why? Why now? Nothing even occurred..nothing modified simply my thoughts being silly like at all times.

If that is how my life will at all times be. I don’t need it.

I’m one who believes we reside many life instances and if I don’t make it via this, I simply hope in my subsequent life time i’m content material with dwelling and don’t need to endure via this once more.