Gerard Philey’s Euro-Diary: Quest for a Life
by Brendan James
‘May there be a world of curiosity and journey past the Midlands? A world of confidence, intercourse and pleasure? A greater life – a greater me?’ These are the questions Gerard Philey grapples with over New Yr, 1995. Sitting in his rented Black Nation room, reflecting on his thankless educating job and depressing love life, he courageously decides to desert his humdrum existence and embark on a quest for Euro-fulfilment, enjoyable and health on the Continent.
After a shaky begin in Brussels, occasions manoeuvre him to Amsterdam the place likelihood encounters shift his world properly and really into fifth gear. He samples the trials and tribulations of latest relationships, alongside managing a intercourse store within the metropolis’s Purple Gentle Space – on prime of the challenges of fat-free residing and worldwide journey!
By means of his bittersweet diary, we see how Gerard steers a laugh-out-loud course by way of farcical episodes and fanciful characters…and the way entanglements from previous and current draw him unwittingly right into a prison underworld the place occasions in the end take their toll.
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This extract is taken from the very begin of the e-book and options the opening entry from Gerard’s diary. It reveals his disenchantment together with his job, love life, and certainly, his life generally. And as such, we see his causes for abandoning his present existence and his need to embark on a quest for a self-reinvention.
Monday 1st January – Walsall
January 1st once more, and similar New Yr’s Day feeling once I awoke this morning: reduction that final yr is precisely that, adopted by sense of dread in regards to the yr forward. Sat on the aspect of the mattress for a minute, staring on the stains on the carpet which began blurring as final yr’s ‘highlights’ whirled round inside my head: limitless days of tedium, educating French and German to youngsters whose mission in life is to flick me crimson uncooked with bits of chewed up Paris Match; limitless nights of marking ungrammatical sentences about guinea pigs and ‘mon boy band favori’. The summer season hols in Skegness provided some reduction, till I slipped on a discarded cheeseburger and apparently created probably the most hilarious case of groin-strain ever witnessed by Lincolnshire locals. May nearly stroll once more in time for the September OFSTED go to, on the primary day of which the top of languages decides to have a nervous breakdown… Which slowly brings me to Christmas, the season of excellent will to all males, which Tina, my girlfriend of eighteen months, clearly thinks is code for ‘dump Gerard’.
Then I remembered and smiled to myself, because the stains got here again into focus. I don’t have to have a look at them any extra! It’s Bye Bye Black Nation Day minus one, and there’s completely nothing to cease me. I’m twenty-five, with no spouse, no girlfriend any extra, not even a guinea pig, and a rented room in a home I share with Jan and Phil, whose child will probably be terrorising my solely peace at evening from February… It’s almost time for me, Gerard Philey, to exit and get a life. There have to be greater than what these previous couple of years have provided. I can turn into Signor Cosmopolitano – certainly. Noticed a JFK quote within the paper final week:
“You can’t turn into what you need to be by remaining what you might be”.
Spot on. Sufficient of break-time what-ifs, bus cease musings and bed-time questioning. Am decided this yr’s diary is not going to make as miserable (and boring) studying as final yr’s. There’s an enormous continent on the market, and I’m greater than prepared for it.
Writer Bio –
Brendan James is the creator of the brand new comedy novel, “Gerard Philey’s Euro-Diary: Quest for a Life”. Although that is his first novel, he has numerous non-fiction publications (underneath the identify Brendan Bartram) as a former college lecturer and researcher. A passionate linguist and Europhile, he spent numerous years working within the Netherlands, France and Germany. He lives within the West Midlands together with his husband.
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Twitter – @Brendan23015569